Alright, let’s be real: You’ve devoured all the self- help books. You know what to do. Your podcast queue is full of “life- changing” advice. You’ve saved about 273 Instagram posts that promise to fix your life if you just “align your energy” or whatever. You literally KNOW what you should be doing- move your body, eat some leafy greens, put your phone down at a reasonable hour.

And yet… you don’t. (Well, at least not consistently.)

And the worst part? You can’t even use the “I didn’t know” excuse! You know. You just- don’t. And it’s frustrating as hell.

But here’s the thing: You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. And your willpower isn’t defective. You’re just human. And knowing what to do? That’s only half the battle. But actually doing it? That’s a whole different beast.

Let’s break it down.

The Knowing- Doing Gap: Why Knowledge Alone Won’t Save You

Why can’t I stick to my goals ?

People love to say, “Knowledge is power.” But actually? Knowledge is just potential power. Just like owning a treadmill but using it as a clothing rack.

The Science- y Bit

There’s a psychological phenomenon called the intention- behavior gap which is a fancy way of saying that just because you intend to do something doesn’t mean you actually will (1).

🔹 Example: You know working out will boost your mood and energy, but somehow, when it’s time to actually go, your brain starts playing a highlight reel of every excuse you’ve ever made.

Sound familiar? Yeah. Same.

The Real Culprits: Why You’re Actually Stuck

If you’re not doing what you “should,” it’s not because you’re weak-willed. There are invisible forces at play. Let’s meet the culprits:

1. Your Brain is a Drama Queen

Your brain’s #1 job is to keep you safe. But guess what? It sees change as a threat even if it’s good change.

🧠 Neuroscience Alert: Your amygdala (a.k.a. your brain’s overprotective security guard) freaks out when you try to do something unfamiliar (2).

🔹 Example: Waking up early to meditate feels dangerous to your brain. Not, like, saber- toothed- tiger- dangerous, but uncomfortable- dangerous. So it sabotages you by making your bed feel extra cozy at 6 AM.

2. Willpower is a Myth (Sort of)

People act like willpower is the secret to success, but here’s the thing: willpower is a limited resource. It runs out. Like your phone battery.

📉 Research Shows: Decision fatigue is real- by the end of the day, your mental energy is drained (3).

🔹 Example: After making a million decisions at work, your brain is too tired to decide between cooking a healthy meal or Postmates- ing nachos. Guess which one it picks?

3. Your Environment is Setting You Up to Fail

Your surroundings heavily influence your actions. If your environment makes bad habits easy and good habits hard… well, guess what’s gonna win?

🔹 Example: If you keep your phone on your nightstand, you will scroll at 2 AM. If your kitchen is full of junk food, you will eat junk food. It’s not personal, it’s just human nature.

4. You’re Trying to Do Too Much at Once

Ever decide to completely change your life overnight? Yeah, how’d that go?

⚡ Science Says: Trying to change too many things at once leads to burnout and decision fatigue (4).

🔹 Example: You start a whole new morning routine- 5 AM wake up, green smoothie, workout, journaling, cold shower, and by day three, you’re exhausted and hate everything.

The Self- Reflection Moment: What’s Really Stopping You?

Let’s pause. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself:

What’s ONE habit you’ve been struggling to start (or stick with)? 

What’s actually getting in the way? Be honest. 

What would happen if you just took one tiny step today?

Because here’s the thing: It’s not about doing everything at once. It’s about doing something.

How to Actually Start Doing the Things You Know You Should Be Doing

Good news: You’re not doomed to stay stuck. You know what to do- here’s how to bridge the gap between knowing and doing:

1. Start Small. No, Smaller Than That.

Forget life overhauls. Pick one tiny habit and commit to it.

🔹 Example: Want to work out? Start with five minutes of stretching. That’s it.

💡 Why It Works: Small wins create momentum (5).

2. Use Cues to Trigger Habits

Habits don’t just happen. They need a trigger.

🔹 Example: Want to drink more water? Than put a glass next to your bed so it’s the first thing you see in the morning.

💡 Why It Works: Cues eliminate decision-making (6).

3. Get an Accountability Buddy

Willpower is unreliable, but accountability? That works.

🔹 Example: Tell a friend your goal. Better yet, bet them $20 you’ll follow through.

💡 Why It Works: Studies show accountability increases your success rate by 95% (7).

4. Reframe How You Talk to Yourself

Words matter. Instead of saying “I should work out,” say, “I want to feel strong.”

💡 Why It Works: Connecting actions to your values makes them stick (8).

Final Truth Bomb: Stop Waiting for Motivation

Motivation is a liar. For instance, if you wait until you feel like doing something, than you’ll be waiting forever.

The key? Take action first, even if you don’t feel like it. Action creates motivation, not the other way around.

And if you’re struggling? Get support. For instance, a coach (👋) can help you figure out what’s keeping you stuck, create a plan, and hold you accountable.

Because you can break free from this cycle. You just need to start.

References

1. Sheeran, P., & Webb, T. L. (2016). The intention- behavior gap. Social and Personality Psychology Compass.
2. LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Emotion circuits in the brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience.
3. Baumeister, R. F., et al. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
4. Vohs, K. D., et al. (2008). Making choices impairs subsequent self- control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
5. Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits.
6. Duhigg, C. (2012). The Power of Habit.
7. ASTD. (2015). Accountability Study.
8. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits. Psychological Inquiry.